How to quiet the “ego” voice

When we’re unconscious or not as aware as we can be, our ego will typically try to grab control of any process we’re working on. Sometimes that serves us, but most times it doesn’t—because the ego is pretty defensive and aggressive.

Here’s a quick grid that illustrates the contrast in the ways we talk to ourselves when our ego is driving vs. when our deeper, more authentic self is driving:

EGO

disempowers

Why bother?
You can’t do this
You suck at everything you try
This isn’t going to be any different
You’re damaged goods
You don’t have what it takes to succeed
This is stupid
This is for dummies
This is for babies
They’re stupid
They’re against you
No one is on your side
There’s not enough time
You’re doing it all wrong
What will they think of you?

AUTHENTIC SELF

empowers

What do I have to lose?
You can totally do this
I’m really good at some things
The past does not need to predict the future
You’re getting stronger and better every day
This may be difficult but it isn’t impossible
This seems really foreign—let me be patient
I thought this would have been harder
I wish I had learned this stuff sooner—better late than never
They don’t think like me and that makes me uncomfortable
Sometimes I can feel alone—remember that people care about me
I can talk myself into crazy places—good thing feelings aren’t facts
I’m committed to doing what it takes to get this finished
This is harder than I thought—I need to be patient with myself
I wonder if I could be a source of inspiration for other people?

Wherever you are in your process of getting and staying organized, pay attention to how you’re talking to yourself. If you find yourself beating up on yourself, don’t beat up on yourself for that, laugh instead at your humanity and recognize that negative self-talk is nothing new, it’s not unique to you and you can shift how you speak to yourself at any time.

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