Of course, most everyone loves positive feedback, although thoughtful constructive criticism is or should be welcomed as well. We have nothing to fear from loving instruction.
No one needs more information intended to shame them or force compliance.
So whether that’s a parent, police officer, lover, friend, co-worker or professional organizer … the message should move us forward with greater clarity and some useful correction. Anything else can or should be discarded.
For some of us, the (seemingly) constant external hammering away at who we are may have become an internalized process — where any feedback becomes an attack.
It’s helpful to recognize when we’re doing the perp’s work for them. And dismantling that reaction as soon as we recognize what’s happening.
And when the negative information is clearly just outside ourselves, likewise having the presence of mind to gracefully step away before too much lands on us.
Knowing where each of us ends and another begins is key in discerning the difference and staying safe from unwelcome and destructive feedback.
That allows us to really hear and appreciate the kindness expressed from those folks who genuinely have our best interests at heart.
Today, I’m declaring life to be a “bully-free” zone.